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Hmmh

I have migrated to a new blog. So to all my readers, go find it yourself :3

Brown

Once upon a time... I asked you all to pray for me so that I'll get a spot in STF or MRSM TGB. Which, well... tada! I got a place in MRSM TGB. Haha. Funny.

Well now, I have a new goal. I have set my eyes on Brown University. Brown is an Ivy League college. Kind of like Harvard and Yale and all. I seriously want to get a place there. I'm well attracted to it.

So everyone pray for me okay? Hihi. Brown, here I come!

Well, before hoping and working to get a spot in Brown, I should probably finish my homeworks and my thesis. Hmmh.

Life

Just a few updates. Well, school has started. It's been exactly 3 weeks there, and well. School's just... school.

Nothing much. A few sighs here and there. A shitload of homework. But then, I've learnt it's really no use to complain. All you will get is a sick heart.

My progress on thesis: 0.01% and heck it is worrying me. Laila and me are going through a hard time with this project. Okay, not so hard. But we are two confused people living with Solar cells that we don't quite understand.

InsyaAllah we'll do fine.

Being a BWP is getting better each day. I'm learning a lot right now, and well, it's fun because I don't just study. I mean JUST study. I have a lot to do and though it gets a little stressful at times, at least it doesn't bore me.

I'm getting along fine. Maybe not great, but I'm living. I've got a lot of friends. Though I walk alone at times, I know I'm not. I know my roommates are there for me. Honestly, they're the best. Sometimes I'd think that nobody cares, but a lot of people there do care about me.

A special thanks to everyone, especially Put, Teha, Shu, Laila, Sarah, Najwa, Musfirah, Dania, Bayanie and a whole lot of other people, for making my life in TGB bearable.

I'm glad I met you guys :)

Check

Got a LOT of work to do. Oh God. And I've got one day to finish it all off.

• ELS fairyday costumes
• SEM thesis
• HOMEWORK
• Student Council work

Oh God.

Okay

I talked to Allah. I talked Him about my problems. And suddenly I was okay.

Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

Yeah!

wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah! ~(-_-)~ ~(-_-)~ ~(-_-)~ \(^_^)/

Time

It's almost time to go back to prison. Goodbye unproductive days. Goodbye hours of just staring at the computer screen wasting all the precious time.

My feelings are a bit complicated right now. Nothing is going right lately. Everything seems so wrong and I don't know what I want.

Haven't you ever had that feeling before? That feeling of not being sure of everything? Sighs.

The only thing I'm sure right now is my love for Allah. The Almighty.

I am going through a somewhat frustrating phase. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life. I should be studying for dear SPM. But I'm not. Barely a surprise, I think.

My heart is empty. All my feelings have fluttered off to God knows where. I am just left here feeling nothing, hurting other people in the process.

Yesterday was awesome, and it gave me a transient spark of joy. I don't know why it didn't last. Spent half of my day with my lovelies, Farhanah, Syafikah, Khairin, Farah and Momoi. Along with Syahiid, Nabil and Amir Amirul. We helped with the orientation in SMK Sierramas. And had lunch. After lunch we had a ride on a lorry. I swear, it was off the hook. A fun experience. I felt so jakun though.

It was probably the first time I've felt genuinely happy after such a long time.

Apart from my days in OB though.

I miss Outward Bound. I miss Yong Yap. I miss so many people in my past. I miss me and horsey. I miss our happy times. We're going through such a depressing time.

Tell me how to bring everything back.

I need to find myself again. I need time alone. Just for a while. Let me find myself, my feelings.

Life happens

Sometimes I wonder how things would turn out if I made different decisions. But then, it's no use wondering because it has already happened. And wondering would turn into longing which would give me a strange, incomprehensible sadness.

I've been getting a lot of those, lately. The strange sadness. A sadness I can't put a reason to. A sadness that makes my heart ache.

But there is really no use, feeling sad. I realise as life moves on, I should start moving on. It is completely pointless to stand there, static, pondering about the past.

Move on with life, make the best of what we have because surely, Allah knows what's best for us.

I have to start living my life properly. All these tears are doing me no good.

I have to start living and find my happiness.

Camp

I miss camp.

No actually I miss the people at camp. Especially Tim and Muhammad. My crazy buddies. I miss you guys loads.

"...But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." (2:216)

Birthday Wishlist.

1. Doa from all my friends and family.
2. A 570-calculator. (Though my mom would be buying this for me.
3. A pencil case.
4. Time to spend with my friends.
5. 9A+ for SPM.
6. Hairbands - those big ones. Because my hair is so hard to hold up.
7. For everyone to forgive me for all my wrongdoings.
8. A pack of colour pencils. Staedlar/Faber Castel if possible (is that how you spell it?)
9. A pack of magic pens/marker pens/whatever you call it
10. My Girlfriend is A Gumiho cd

Kesedihan

Oh my, I am so sad. I haven't gotten the chance to hang out with my friends.

I haven't even met Asma yet gosh. Iman came over the other day and went with my family to Pavilion. No saya bukan budak Pavi.

K lame.

And Farhanah, Khairin, Nina came over to my house and we just lepakzzzzz. (Nabilah came over as well). Tak lepak pun. Farhanah & Khairin came to study Physics with me. And Nina just came over for about an hour. Mula lah dia tu bergosip. Mak aih.

Au revoir darlings

here's to him

He made me laugh. Why is he so cute.

Hiding

I'm going into hiding again. Depressed again. For no reasons.

I hate myself.