Time

It's almost time to go back to prison. Goodbye unproductive days. Goodbye hours of just staring at the computer screen wasting all the precious time.

My feelings are a bit complicated right now. Nothing is going right lately. Everything seems so wrong and I don't know what I want.

Haven't you ever had that feeling before? That feeling of not being sure of everything? Sighs.

The only thing I'm sure right now is my love for Allah. The Almighty.

I am going through a somewhat frustrating phase. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life. I should be studying for dear SPM. But I'm not. Barely a surprise, I think.

My heart is empty. All my feelings have fluttered off to God knows where. I am just left here feeling nothing, hurting other people in the process.

Yesterday was awesome, and it gave me a transient spark of joy. I don't know why it didn't last. Spent half of my day with my lovelies, Farhanah, Syafikah, Khairin, Farah and Momoi. Along with Syahiid, Nabil and Amir Amirul. We helped with the orientation in SMK Sierramas. And had lunch. After lunch we had a ride on a lorry. I swear, it was off the hook. A fun experience. I felt so jakun though.

It was probably the first time I've felt genuinely happy after such a long time.

Apart from my days in OB though.

I miss Outward Bound. I miss Yong Yap. I miss so many people in my past. I miss me and horsey. I miss our happy times. We're going through such a depressing time.

Tell me how to bring everything back.

I need to find myself again. I need time alone. Just for a while. Let me find myself, my feelings.